Friday, December 7, 2007

Models bang models, and I done banged some hot mammas!

I was recently in a shoot where I played a devilishly good-looking European businessman, like Hugh Grant but not into hookers, and these 2 chicks wanted to, you know, do me. You can see how it all went down. Well, not how they went down on me, but you get it.

For all my die hard fans out there, don't worry your pretty-but-not-as-pretty-as-mine little heads and think for a minute I'm going into pr0n. I mean, sure, those people are good looking, and some even hot. But hot is easy. True beauty is not; luckily I make it look simple!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

I cannot believe how cool Ninjas are!

Could you imagine how deadly I would be if I were a Ninja? Last time I heard someone say "If looks could kill..." I accidentally looked at them and their head exploded (proof here) Sorry grandma!

Anyway, I just came across this news report about Ninjas. I can't believe how much we have in common! I once killed a baby for eating a carrot. Just this weekend I stuffed a whole fish in my mouth just for looking at me wrong.

go to hell fish!

Sunday, April 29, 2007


His Gorgeousness has requested that we make this link available through his website... One day Silver Fox and Biker Fox may join forces- watch out!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


This is the best angle for showcasing my calf and gluteus maximus muscles. Aren't they nice? I wish I could lick them.

Ready, set... ACTION!

Looks like I'm walking across the street, doesn't it?

I'm actually not moving at all, it's just a pose. I can freeze at a moments notice and still look completely natural. This is a skill I have while walking, running, skipping, whatever. And that's not something you can learn, you have to be born with it.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Monday, April 16, 2007

Such range

I have so much talent I can even play a middle eastern terrorist. With ease too. This look is called "From Allah with Love"

I dare you... try and tap this ass!

I learned this move from RuPaul, my idol.

My better side

Which side is my best?

I'm thinking the right side, but when you look at the shot it's actually my left side, so which side is it really? It's like stage right and stage left but for my face! Next time the photographer man tells me to look left, I'm not going to know which way to go. Good thing both sides are the same amounts of pretty. My head hurts. I wonder if the camera is stealing my soul and it's coming out the sides of my head? Oh well, I'll let my agent deal with it. I want some strawberries.

A Sneak Peek at Some of my Most Versatile Looks

This one is called "Yeah, I want to get in your pants"

"Do you want to get into my pants too?"

"Wait, I wasn't talking to you."

And I have hundreds more!

Silver Crotch

I know it's a small photo, but you understand that I can't give it all away at once.

(I think this was the money shot that led to the photographer's balls on my chin. So lucky!)

Charity is so hot right now

I am also interested in philanthropy... When I am rich and famous I will contribute time and money to various charities, like Models Against People Who are Against Fur (or MAPWAF as it's know in some circles) and AARP. I realize that I've been blessed with a gift, and it would be a shame to not use it for good.

Look, here I am brightening the lives of some underprivileged midgets.

It warms my heart that my beauty allows me to give back to the community. I'm not just a pretty face! (Or abs, legs, chest, butt and biceps.)

Devilishly hot

Lick your finger and touch me, I will sizzle!

I'm all wet!

I can also do swimsuit ads and catalogs... I call this look the "Happy Wet Seal":

I can go from wet to dry and back again in a matter of seconds, I am that talented.

When is Sports Illustrated going to do a men's swimsuit edition?

Tour jete & Grand Plie

This photo is a good example of how versatile I am as a model. Even with a pink trimmed tutu my rugged good looks shine through, yet my masculinity doesn't take away from the sensitive nature of the shot.

As a side note, I am also flexible like a ballerina.

Floating Rocks

Ryan wasn't strong enough to hold down these floating rocks:

I, on the other hand, just busted out one of my patented looks: "HoldTheFloatingRocksDown" Don't try to use it. I've patented and copyrighted it.

I'm better looking than Apollo

Yes, that's right. I just want to start off by saying I'm much better looking than the Greek God Apollo. I know this because he didn't just have a photo shoot in Seattle this week. Most likely he doesn't even exist, which makes me WAY better looking then him.

Anyway, I'm Joe. I'm really really good looking.

Here's an example, from a trip I just took to California.
The reason you can't see all my face is because the camera was scared it would break. I'm just that good looking.